Finn's angelversary is in 4 days.
What is an angelversary? It's the anniversary of someone's death. Finn's is April 8. People in grief communities use it as a softer alternative to "death anniversary" — it reframes the date around the person rather than the loss.
Some families mark it publicly, some privately. It's common in bereaved parent communities specifically. Kirsten and I now have a few, hmmm, traditions? We go to Alia Bay in Sion, which we did on Good Friday, the last full day that Finn was alive. At that time, Finn surfed with his brother Somers, and then went to spend time with best friends in Montreux.
This year on Easter, we will do this with Somers. On April 8th, Kirsten and I will hike up a near by mountain to a rock cairn that we made for Finn on his birthday. There are ashes and some of this things there to commemorate him. We will go up there, and have and likely have an outpouring of tears, hug each other, and look for a black bird that will almost certainly be there watching us. My personal sign that I use for when I know he is with me.
As part of this most dreaded day of the year for Kirsten, me and Somers, I wanted to post a beautiful poem that Finn wrote himself at the height of his full Mexican grom-dom.
This captures the perfect angel that is clearly in him, even at that time.
He'd been out surfing all day, probably with his friend Osmar and Somers. Running around with no shoes, ripped up boardies. He probably went out that eve in our golf cart and re-fueled on $20mxn ($.80) street tacos. His fav.
Words can not describe how much we miss this angel. He was the light of all of our lives, and those that knew him; Lucas, Tristan, Mads, Ben, Itse, Ally, Melanie, Max, Cayden, Devi, the list goes on. They'd agree.
During the year of 2023, I had to give two eulogies for Finn. The one we did 7 days after his passing in Switzerland.
And the second which we did as a paddle out, in traditional surfer tradition in his beloved Sayulita, Mexico.
Below are the words that I said, and in them I recited his beautiful if not perfect Spanish poem. Actually, made more perfect because it came purely from the depths of his soul, which is exactly how he lived his life.
Last words for Finn, as spoken by his father in Sayulita Mexico, some time in June for a trip he was really looking forward to going on.
Thank you for coming out today to celebrate the life of our son and brother, Finn.
Finn was really looking forward to coming back to Mexico, a place that he considered his home. A place that was special to him, a country that wrapped him in her magical culture, her wonderful food and people.
As a father to Finn, he was much more than a son. He was my best friend, and an inspiration. He was my hero.
He was calm when all around him were not.
He was the first one to point out a sunset, or a beautiful landscape.
He was the humble artist that I could never be.
He was the friend that always made time for you.
He was a listener when you needed it, and was quick to share a laungh.
We was balance in a life full of competition and noise.
He was soft and gentle when he needed to be.
He was the one that was most up for adventure.
You are an example of how to live a life.
You had the best of all of us,
You were full of dreams that would never be.
These are just a fraction of the thousands of joys that I will miss.
One of the things that so many people have told me about Finn was that he had lived five lifetimes in the span of his twenty years.
While this is of little solace it is true. He never let a moment go by without enjoying it to its fullest.
While looking through past photos and art I came across this poem that Finn wrote during his last year living in Mexico. He was 13 at the time, it gives a glimpse into the sweetness of his soul.
EL Mar
Si no es el viento que viene del mar,
Es una voz delegada hablando a mi.
Sus colores son mas brillante que el cielo
Y su reflejedad crea algo mejor que el hielo.
El mar tiene un gran profundidad y me hace sentir un hermoso tranquilidad.
Quando el agua salada toca los puntas de mis dedos,
Algo pasa que es mejor que nada.
Las olas suaves y lentos
Como montanas alejandose
Que son distintos que cantas.
It has been 86 days since our son, our friend, our brother was taken on a new journey, I want him to know that he will never be forgotten.
It is with deep sorrow that I return Finn to the waters of Sayulita, his childhood home, not on a surfboard as he had hoped but as ashes to fade into his beloved ocean, su mar.
We will miss you dear Finn, but don't think that we won’t be thinking of you every day.
You are my hero and your spirit lives within us, until we are together again.
This is why I will fovever be, powered by Finn...